Since the fence is being replaced I’ve had views of the neighbour’s yards that I’ve never seen before. I’ve always known that the ones down the back have had a pool but I didn’t realise how blue and shiny it was. If it hadn’t have been raining off and on this last week I might have been tempted to try it.

This morning when I was downstairs cruelly chaining up the dog and feeding him at 6.30am I saw a man with a dog in the back neighbours yard. This man didn’t look like the guy who owns the place and as soon as he saw me through the trees he nonchalantly took his dog and wandered to their front gate and escaped. Since we’ve been dealing with the neighbours about the fence I was aware that they are away so I’m not sure what this guy was doing near their back shed. Needless to say I’m a bit suspicious.

This encounter has reminded me of some other odd experiences I’ve had with various neighbours.

The couple on my left are renters and getting on a bit in life. The guy is a roly poly man who looks a bit like Raymond Burr in Rear Window (the irony is not lost on me). He comes and goes at odd hours but after a few encounters during the usual leaving and arriving waves that neighbours endure I’ve noticed that he wears some kind of ambulance uniform. He usually gets dropped home in the middle of the night by taxis.

WoodyHis partner/wife mostly stays home and for company she has a cockatiel and dog called Woody. He is a bit of a dopey dog that looks a little like Scooby Doo (if scooby doo was a black dog) and he liked to busy-body over the back fence when it was falling down.

Sometimes late at night I’d hear some loud crying sounds that sounded like wailing. I was convinced this guy was beating his wife and thought he was the most evilest thing on earth. But then I heard it another time and it sounded joyous. I then thought this guy must know every position in the karma sutra and damn the guy is good. Finally after weeks of hearing this sound I realised that it was the bloody dog excited that the guy was home or that something interesting was happening. The dopey dog was a wife beating, sex crazed happy machine!

The neighbours on the other side have dogs too – or should I say two dogs. They are called Cairo and Harper and are pretty good dogs. But they used to cry a lot when the owners weren’t home so she has now taken to playing meditation music to calm them down. It seems to be working which is pretty funny. However I might start barking soon if I have to hear that relaxing music for much longer!



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