My sister went for an interview at a call centre a few days ago and since I had to give her a hand in preparing, it’s prompted me to examine the process.
Answers you should not give in a job interview:
How do you deal with change? I shrivel up in a corner screaming “why did it have to end!!!”
Why are you applying for this job? I need more money to purchase hard drugs.
What qualities do you have that make you an effective team player? I have no standards and will sleep with everyone.
Do you work better by yourself or as part of a team? Well I enjoy masturbating, but I’m also open to group sex.
What is your greatest strength? Probably my biceps, as I haven’t really worked on calf muscles.
What part of your current job are you the least comfortable with? Turning up in the morning
What does it take to get under your skin? A needle or knife
Why are manhole covers round? What kind of question is this? I’m applying for a computer job!
Is there anyone on earth who actually enjoys job interviews????