December is not only the holiday season, it is also the season to list absolutely everything that happened in the year past. All the music shows do the best songs of the year, the best albums of the year while the magazines are reviewing the best movie of the year and the best celebrity stuff. There is even a website totally devoted to lists. Always one to join the fads I too will endeavor to make lists over the coming weeks. I thought I’d start with one that isn’t about the year, but about my career.

Jobs I’d like to do if I wasn’t a public servant

  • A barista. Not one of those I come to work to live type coffee shop workers. I’d like to be one who makes latte art and knows what cup to use for what coffee. In some place that has a passion for their beans and how they serve it

  • A flaring bartender. Tom Cruise made it famous in the movie Cocktail but it looks like a challenge. Especially for someone like me who makes Pauline nervous just taking a cup of tea from the kitchen to the dining table.

  • An accommodation reviewer for the RACQ. Travel all the time, tick lots of boxes and stay in dodgy motels with drug dealers out the front or beach front cottages. Exciting, dangerous yet requires little activity.

  • Music programmer for a radio station. Preferably Triple J but any radio station that doesn’t have hard and fast rules about playing the same song 10 times in an hour.

  • Tour guide. Performance art on a personal level. Enthrall others with pre-rehearsed facts about beautiful areas while subtly telling off all those assholes who turn up late to things.

  • Ideas person for an ad company. Don’t do any of the work, just come up with a crazy idea and say make it so.

  • Wonder Woman. Be completely unnoticed by day but with my magic lasso and bullet repelling bracelets run rampant at night. I think this job is already taken though

Stay tuned for more exciting lists like this! 😀



5 thoughts on “Tis the season to be listing

  1. Kel says:

    How exciting!! I think if there was anything I could be… would be a sidewalk artist. They do the coolest things!!

    Only catch is that I can’t even draw a stick figure 🙁

  2. Amyo says:

    I came across this how we work website which has excerpts from famous people describing their own relationship to their own work. I like Cory Doctorow’s from BoingBoing but not Oscar Niemeyer’s.

  3. Janey says:

    I thought top of your list of jobs would be working at IKEA, doing product testing?

    How ’bout these:
    + the person who changes the blown light bulbs in Traffic Lights
    + Elephant dentist
    + The person who writes error messages for Microsoft Products
    + A skywriter
    + Platypus Trainer
    + Farrier
    + Vermiculturist (Worm Farmer)
    + Onion Grader
    + Golf Ball retriever
    + Proctologist
    + Vampire Hunter
    + Barbershop Quartet singer
    + Blogger
    + Rickshaw driver
    + underwater mime artist

    Aren’t lists fun?

  4. Amyo says:

    Based on that list I am quite fond of the Microsoft Error writer as long as it could be written in rhyme …

    “2,4,6,8 defrag your pc before it’s too late!”
    “to err is human, to forgive does not compute”

    If they don’t like aussies then I guess I could be a blogger?

  5. u_kno_who says:

    oh god
    tht had me glued right until the last binary number
    cant give u much a list but ill try:
    -a podiatrist (foot doctor)
    -a garbage truck driver
    -the guy who fixes the ‘rabbit proof fence’
    and tht is it


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