At age 13-18 you are unfortunate enough to spray your hormonal crushes in machine gun fashion in many different directions. I was lucky enough to go hormonal in the era that is known throughout the universe for the services rendered to popular culture. With a view to reminiscing, I give you my dodgy crushes from the 90s and 80s:

1. Moose from “You can’t do that on Television”

I can pretty much say for certain that it wasn’t her name that was the attraction, more the sultry dark looks, sarcastic manner and the sex appeal that oosed out of her from under that green slime. Even today she has the MILF factor and a relaxed dress sense that hasn’t really evolved from her days on the show (in a way that is excellent).

For some trivia, check out this video of Alanis Morisette as a kid – she was on the show for a while and I hated her because everyone gushed over her:

2. Caitlin from “Degrassi Junior High” and “Degrassi High”

Yeah this crush probably started when Caitlin got her wires crossed and thought she was in love with her female teacher, but it was the fact that she was smart as well that added to the appeal. I had an on again off again relationship with her, hating her when she had issues with Joey, applauding her when she broke up with Claude and cheering when he commited suicide. The one voted most likely to grow up to be a politician. Check out this really “cool” and with it environmental rap:

or when she gives Claude a good whooping:

3. Linda from “The Press Gang”

Long before she was Saffron on AB Fab she was wooing my heart on press gang. Her forceful argumentative style was such a turn on and the complexity of her character – does she stick with her career or go for the guy that frustrates the hell out of her was incredible for a teenage drama. She always gave off the aura of the bookish girl who would be dynamite in bed (totally my type). Here is the cool way she deals with Spike after 6 months of not speaking to him:

4. Linda Hamilton – “Beauty and the Beast”

Normal people would probably like Linda from her stint in the Terminator films but I knew nothing of those movies at the time and fell for her thanks to this weird ass show. I remember writing letters to her in science class and not realising that my friends thought it was strange the way I was speaking in gushed tones about her. I can’t even remember any episodes of the show now, just that she was absolutely stunning. Really, you don’t have to watch the show anyway as the introduction tells it all:

5. Debbie Gibson

I don’t really understand this crush, I ‘m normally not interested in the blonde hair brown eyed american girl so in retrospect I think it was due to her association with NKOTB and Bros that started the attraction. The only crush I ever met in person and maybe that has done something also to remove the mystique around her. Lost in your eyes was the song that did it for me (and millions of others) – I was incredibly fanatical about her, cutting out clippings and pasting them in to books – I still have a huge poster of her Electric Youth album cover. Now I understand why I wore waistcoats!

Totally not a crush, but someone I quoted constantly in 1988-1989, I have to add this youtube link and then I’ll go, I’ll go, I’ll just go….. Kylie Mole – So excellent!



1 thought on “Dodgy 80s and 90s schoolgirl crushes

  1. Kel says:

    I’m pretty sure you passed down your fascination with Degrassi and You Cant Do that on Television to me, because I think I could remember both of those episodes…..


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