I happened to relive my youth recently by watching the pilot epidode of Wonder Woman. This was a tv series filmed in the 70s based on the DC Comic. The pilot apparently aired in 1975 (year of my birth) which happened to be after the bra burning (supposedly a myth) and Germaine Greer era of Women’s Lib.

This show had possibly the best theme song ever on televison. Funkier than a Shaft 70s porn film, with really deep lyrics:

Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman.
All the world’s waiting for you,
and the power you possess.

[More lyrics]

Linda Carter had something you just don’t see in actresses these days. Real boobs and hips. She wasn’t artifically beautiful, she was born that way. She had been a Miss World USA before she got the gig as Wonder Woman. A script writer couldn’t have written that better!

The pilot’s storyline is set in the 40s and involves the Nazis plotting to bomb a New York building because it is building secret weapons. The Americans catch wind of this and send their super pilot guy out to stop the Nazi’s super pilot guy bomber.

After the two pilots dog fight their way to obliteration, super pilot american guy Steve washes up on the shore of a beautiful island and this is where we see Wonder Woman for the first time.

But wait! Where is the american flag type getup that we know and love? Oh, she is actually an amazonian princess who lives on a women only island in the Bermuda triangle. I get it now!

So, she and some other amazonians nurse super pilot Steve back to health, giving young boys weird eye patch fetishes the world over.

After some discussion with Mum over whether the apple is red enough, they realise that now that Steve is better he needs to be taken back to where he came from. So Mum decides to have an olympic game type scenario so that the strongest amazonian woman takes him back. The princess is of course banned from competing.

After some run of the mill competitions, it ends with a dramatic gun battle using the bullet repelling bracelets as protection. A mystery blonde is triumphant!

Oh my god! The princess was the mystery blonde woman, and against her mother’s wishes she gets to take super pilot guy Steve home! So, she pulls out the invisible jet, which makes everything invisible except the occupants, seat and the steering wheel, then heads off to the USA.

Smuggling Steve in to a hospital, nurse Wonder Woman blends in to the crowd. She is obviously very matronly.

Bored with cleaning up urine, she decides to step outside in her Wonder clothes and stop a robbery with her bullet stopping bracelets. She is so good at it she can do it with her eyes closed.

Not long after, she realises that guys with guns is just isn’t a turn on. So she decides that Steve’s secretary is a bitch (or spy – whatever) and has a bit of a push and shove with her over tables, through doors and swinging on lamps.

This makes many young boys get a fetish for the rough stuff. She then says I’ve had jack of you lady with your pissy little karate moves and reveals her knockout punch – sending bitchy secretary lady on to a chair and out through the double doors!

Hooray Wonder Woman! You’ve saved the day! Now you get to do what you fought robbers, punched bitches and left home for. You get to be Steve’s *ugly* secretary! Wow, womens lib really achieved it’s goal of getting women in to the workforce hey!



6 thoughts on “Get us out from under, Wonder Woman

  1. mib says:

    She also shares her birthday with Marvin the Martian, as all significant people do. 😎

  2. Kelly says:

    Awww guess I better go sit in the corner and kill myself. haha.

    OR maybe I should just realise that only those who think that they are significant know his birthday, yet those same people are the ones who…..

    okay i’ve got nothing.

  3. Amyo says:

    Ok think about what “significant people” mean when Malcolm writes it…. it means it’s his birthday!

  4. janey says:

    Lynda Carter trivia:

    + Born Linda Jean Cordoba Carter (Cordoba???!!!)on July 24, 1951

    + In 1972, was crowned Miss Pheonix, Miss Arizona and Miss World USA

    + Blue eyes, dark brown hair

    + twice married, 2 children

    + Lynda’s portrayal of Wonder Woman ranked #176 in People Magazine’s 2003 list of the “200 Greatest Pop Culture Icons Of All Time”

    + Lynda was responsible for the sponge makeup applicators originally used only by professional Hollywood artists.

    + She also introduced the idea of putting sunblock in various Maybelline makeup products.

    What a wonder!


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